L's Bad Day
by robertwan
Summary: L is NOT having a good day. Maybe he's been sitting normal too much lately. If you have any ideas for what should happen to poor L next, please post a review that has the idea. Thanks! Actually, now its title should be "L's bad days". Oh well.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story. Although I wish I did. However, I __**DO **__own this story. Please do not copy or reproduce this story without permission from me. If you want permission, leave a review stating so._

Light and L come back into their hotel and find a girl sleeping in Light's bed.

Light: Who the **censored** are you?

Girl: (wakes up abruptly) I didn't kill him! (goes back to sleep)

L: Hmmm… obvious guilt about death… judging by the timing, appearance, circumstance… hmmm… there is a 27.6 chance that she is the second Kira.

Girl: (wakes up) Kira? Who's Kira? (sleep)

L: Her facial structure indicates that she is either American or European. America knows of Kira. (Flips out his cell phone) Watari?

Watari: Yes?

L: See if there are any European countries that are not aware of Kira's existence.

Watari: Yes sir… … … … sir, each country in Europe knows of Kira.

L: Thank you. There is now only a 2.7 chance that she does not actually know who Kira is. Therefore, there is an … um… 53 chance of her being Kira.

Light: (shakes the girl awake) WHO THE **censored** ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?!

Girl: (groggily) Darn that M… He's been telling people I'm a shinigami, hasn't he. Well, I'm not. So there.

L: The word 'shinigami' was mentioned in that video from the second Kira… 63.

Light: She is not the second Kira! I should know… I've seen the real Kira.

L: Is

Light: Is not

L: Is (I think you get the idea by now, this goes on for about another 15 minutes)

Review! Or else L will accuse you of being Kira (not really a threat, I know…)


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story. Although I wish I did. However, I __**DO **__own this story. Please do not copy or reproduce this story without permission from me. If you want permission, leave a review stating so._

Misa walks in and sees the girl lying on Light's bed

Misa: Gasp Light! You've been cheating on me! (starts beating him up)

Light: Ow! It's not what it seems! Ouch!

L: There is a 74 chance that our investigation will be more successful if Light-kun is not harmed. I shall remove him by force (yanks on chain)

Light comes flying out and lands on top of L

Light: Y'know, you're pretty dumb for one of the top 3 detectives in the world.

L: blushes I…merely did not observe the consequences of my action…

Light: Like I said.

The girl sneaks off

The detectives argue for a few minutes, then…

L and Light: Hey! Where'd she go?

Matsuda: Who's 'she'?

L: Huh? Where'd you come from?

Light: He walked in from the adjoining room. You're not doing so well today, Ryuzaki.

L: Not doing well? Yeah, well, your face isn't doing so well!

(L can feel his face growing redder)

Light: Like I said.

L: Well, you're…um…stupid!

Light: Again, like I said.

(L is decidedly scarlet)

L: I have decided to give up on comebacks for the day.

Light: Good idea (takes out some cake) I'm hungry.

L: I detect sugar…63.71° clockwise!

(jumps on top of Light)

Light: Hey! Ow! Why is everybody beating me up?!

L: SUGAR!

Matsu: I'm eating ca-ake! I'm eating ca-ake! (singsong voice)

(L mutilates Matsu and proceeds to inhale the cake)

L: I am now safe, as I have had my sugar fix.

Matsu and Light walk off, both carrying various body parts that were ripped off.

L: (still dazed) Huh? Where did they go? (Wanders off)

Please Review! Or L will decapitate you in his search for sugar! (now that's a threat)


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story. Although I wish I did. However, I __**DO **__own this story. Please do not copy or reproduce this story without permission from me. If you want permission, leave a review stating so._

_Note: If the dialog does not specify who is talking, it's L._

Light and L are asleep.

L: zzzzzzzzzz

Light: zzzzz SNORE zzzzz

L: (wakes up) What the **censored** was that?

Light: SNORE

OMG He's snoring. Loudly.

Light: SSSNNNOOORRRE

L: He must be Kira.

Only Kira would be cruel enough to subject me to such torture.

I must awaken him -- to save myself. Come to think of hit, his throat must hurt in the mornings. I am doing him a favor.

(Shakes Light)

He just rolled over!

…

…

…

…

Ahh… blessed silence… drifts off

Light: SNORE

L: Aaaaaaaaagh! He doesn't shut up!

Make it go away…

_The next morning_

Light: Hello, Ryuzaki. How did you sleep last night? MY GOD! Ryuzaki, you look like the living dead!

L: I. Slept. Horribly.

Light: That's too bad. I wonder what caused that?

(L's face contorts in rage. He then proceeds to smash his foot into Light's stomach)

Light: Ow! Again, why do people always beat me up?! Ow! (The second 'Ow!' was L's fist in Light's face)

L: YOU SNORE!

Light: No I do not!

L: I can prove it.

Light: No you can't!

L has a smug expression on his face as he takes out a tape recorder.

Tape: SSSSNNNNOOOORRRREEEE

Light: Ow! My ears! Turn that thing off!

L: You see.

Light: Okay, maybe I do snore. But you definitely turned up the volume on that thing.

L shows Light the volume knob, which is set just barely above mute.

Light: Umm…Errmm…

L walks off to get some sugar.

**Review! Or Light will snore at you!**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story. Although I wish I did. However, I __**DO **__own this story. Please do not copy or reproduce this story without permission from me. If you want permission, leave a review stating so._

L: Light, where did you put my ice cream?

Light: You ate it all last night, Ryuzaki.

L: Hmm…What to do…what to do…Light, we must go to the store.

Light: Huh?

L: Come along now, you don't want to be dragged there do you?

Light: Fine! I'm coming.

A few minutes later…

L: Ice cream, ice cream…where is it? Ah! Here it is. AAAAAAAAGH! MY FLAVOR IS SOLD OUT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Light: It's no big deal, Ryuzaki. We'll just go to the ice cream store.

L: Very well.

A few minutes later (again)…

L: AAAAAAAAGH! MY FLAVOR IS SOLD OUT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Light: Stop screaming! You'll just have to wait for tomorrow when the giant grocery store opens. I'm sure that they'll have your ice cream there.

L: I…need…ice…cream…

They return to the hotel.

L: I will search the entire hotel to see if there is any ice cream I can eat anywhere.

Light: Gulp

TO BE CONTINUED…

**Review! Or...Um…I can't think of anything. Please just review.**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story. Although I wish I did. I don't own Ben & Jerry's either. However, I __**DO **__own this story. Please do not copy or reproduce this story without permission from me. If you want permission, leave a review stating so._

Recap: L has decided to search the entire hotel to find some source of ice cream.

Light: No, L…It's okay. You don't need to search the hotel. Seriously.

L: Iiiiiiiice creeeeeeeeeammmm…

Light: (little voice) I'm scared.

(A few minutes later)

I have searched all the floors except yours. Strange coincidences have kept me from it. Now… to search!

Light: Oh, **censored**.

(A few minutes later)

L: Now to search your room. Don't approach me; my ice cream deprivation has fried my brain somewhat.

…

…

…

…

L: Ah ha! What is this? It appears to be… A small carton of "Ben & Jerry's"! Light…I WILL KILL YOU!

Light: Running away now!

L: You get back here this instant!

Light: No thanks; I don't usually partake in things that are hazardous to my health

L: Grrrrrrrrrrrr

(Eventually L catches Light)

L: Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Light: Ow! Ouch! Hey! Ow! I needed that leg! Ouch! Hey!

L: Serves you right! Now to open my ice cream…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

It's empty!

Light: **censored** you, you **censored censored**!

_fin_

**Review! Or L will rip your leg off in his search for ice cream!**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story. Although I wish I did. However, I __**DO **__own this story. Please do not copy or reproduce this story without permission from me. If you want permission, leave a review stating so._

_Kathryn probably won't stick around much longer._

**L is waiting for the ice cream store to open up so that he can finally have some.**

L: _The store opens at 10:30…it's 10:00 right now…30 minutes left…_

Clock: Tick…Tock…Tick…Tock…. Tick…. Tock…. Tick….. Tock……Tick……Tock

L: Aaaaaaagh! It seems as though the clock is slowing down!

Clock: Tick……Tock……Tick……Tock……Tick…….Tock……

L: I…I can't take it anymore!

Clock: Tick……Tock……Tick……Tock……Tick…….Tock……

L: whimper I this keeps up I will start hallucinating..

_28 minutes later_

L: Yes! 10:30 exactly! To the store!

(runs out, dragging Light with him)

Light: (Still in nightclothes) Aaaaaaagh!

(At the store)

L: Iiccee Ccrreeaamm…

(bursts inside)

L: Ah ha! The ice cream appears to be behind that counter!

L: Hmmm… What's the clerk's name… Ah! It appears to be "Kathryn".

L: Kathryn, please procure for me some ice cream.

Kathryn: Huh?

L: Just give me the ice cream!

Kathryn: Oh…Well, why didn't you say so?

L: Grumble, grumble

Kathryn: Pick a flavor…any flavor…

L: Ummm… Anything! Just give me ice cream!

Kathryn: Okay, here you go. Vanilla. Hey! I could have sworn that I was holding the cup!

L: munch, munch

Light: Hey! Don't I get ice cream?

L: Let me think…no.

Light: Give me some of the **censored** ice cream!

L: Say that one more time and I'll send you to next Tuesday!

Light: Give me some of the **censored** ice cream…ooof!

L: My ice cream. You can't have any.

**Review! Or L will kick you into next Tuesday!**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters or products mentioned in this story. Although I wish I did. However, I __**DO **__own this story. Please do not copy or reproduce this story without permission from me. If you want permission, leave a review stating so._

_We left off with L kicking Light into next Tuesday. It is now Tuesday, so I can upload the next chapter. I know it's not really Tuesday, but it was when I wrote this. I just couldn't upload it until now._

_Note: Katie is the new ice cream clerk. Kathryn is sick._

* * *

L: Y'know, this is really good ice cream.

(Mello walks in)

Light: **Censored**! L look, it's Mello!

L: (Munch, munch)

Light: L, look, **censored** it! Look up! Mello is here! Apprehend him!

L: Mine. You can't have any ice cream. It's mine.

Light: Do I have to spell it out for you?!

L: I shall be lenient. I shall only kick you 5 minutes ahead, as opposed to next Tuesday. But only if you insist on stopping me from eating my ice cream.

Light: M...e...l...l...o...(space)...i...s...(space)...h...e...r...e...(exclamation mark)...oof!

(meanwhile)

Mello: I would like some chocolate ice cream, please.

Katie: We're out. I'll go check in the back.

Mello. **Censored**, can't they restock it as it runs out? I'll **censored **their sorry **censored**!

(5 minutes later)

Poof!

Light: Wow, the world of limbo is really interesting. Now... L LOOK AT MELLO HE'S RIGHT THERE GET HIM NOW!

L: Why can't you?

Light: My whole body is bruised and battered from you kicking me a week and five minutes ahead!

L: My ice cream.

(back to the counter)

Katie: Here you go sir, I found some. One scoop or two?

Mello: Two.

Katie: All right, that'll be 3 dollars and eighty-two cents.

Mello: Is that price totally random?

Katie: Err...Um...No, certainly not (thinking: crud, he figured out our store's secret)!

(L looks up)

L: Aaaagh! Mello! Get him!

(runs after him and trips in a little of puddle of spilled, melted ice cream)

L: Light, why didn't you tell me he was here?!

Light: Ulp... ... Ow! Ow! Ouch! Hey! Ow! Ouch! Aaaagh! Pain! Ow! Ow!

L: (sniffs) Darn Light, he let Mello get away...

**Review! Or L will get mad at you for letting Mello get away!**


	8. Chapter 8

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story. Although I wish I did. However, I __**DO **__own this story. Please do not copy or reproduce this story without permission from me. If you want permission, leave a review stating so._

_(E/N: Yay! I got How To Read: 13 today! (does happy dance))_

_Still at the ice cream shop (Kathryn's back as the clerk)_

L: munch, munch

Light: Gosh, L, haven't you eaten enough yet?!

L: munch, munch

Light: grumble

(Near walks in)

Near: Hello, L, how's it going?

L: Huh? Near! Hi!

Near: Just a sec while I get some ice cream...

L: No problem

Light: (inches away slowly)

Near: Wait.

L: What?

Near: I...have...an...idea...

L: Yes?

Near: LAST MAN STANDING ICE CREAM EATING CONTEST!!

L: evil grin You're on

(76 ice cream cones later)

L: Owwwwwwww...

Near: What's wrong, L?

L: Pain...brain freeze...

Near: Wow, really? I feel fine!

L: No...stop talking...noise...owwwwwwwww...

Near: Gosh. I never should have started that! Hmmm...Still a bit hungry...Kathryn, one more please.

Kathryn: faint

Near: Huh? Oh well... Lets see what new toys I got! (wanders off)

L: Owwwwwwwwwww...Light...help...

Light: (hiding)

L has to crawl back to the hotel

L: Light, why didn't you help?

Light: I was...er...in the bathroom?

L: For two hours.

Light: Er...Um...Yeah...I guess... (thinking: _I need to stock up on excuses. Badly._)

L: (face contorting in rage) You need to stock up on excuses?! DIE!

Light: I said that out loud, didn't I. Oof!

L: Owwwww...shouldn't have moved...

**Review! Or Near will give you intense brain freeze!**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters or products mentioned in this story. Although I wish I did. However, I __DO __own this story. Please do not copy or reproduce this story without permission from me. If you want permission, leave a review stating so._

_L and Light are playing chess. (Not shogi)_

L: Gaaaah! Stalemate again!

Light: Would you like to try again?

L: Well, all right...

(37 games later)

L: No. More. Chess. We're both too brilliant for either of us to win!

Light: Yeah, but I'm just so bored... Hey! I know! How about checkers?

L: If nothing else, it'll be a nice change of pace.

(27 1/2 games later) (L broke the board in the middle of the 28th game)

L: No more, please. This is antagonizing.

Light: If I never go against a genius again, I'll die happy. The kings...just wandering around...it burns...

(Misa walks in)

Light and L: Evil Grin

L: Care for some chess, Misa?

Misa: Sure!

...

...

L: C'mon, you're white, make a move!

Misa: Erm...well...that is...

L: Yes? (Thinking _saythatyou'reKirasaythatyou'reKirasaythatyou'reKirasaythatyou'reKirasaythatyou'reKira_)

Misa: I don't know how to play.

L: Here, I'll show you.

(Three hours and one broken pawn later)

Misa: All right, I got it now. Let's play!

(One game later)

L: Frozen in shock

Light: Frozen in shock

Misa: Yay! I won! Yay!

L: But...how...

Light: I guess...you know excatly...what anyone who's not...an idiot...would do...

L: I see...She's so random you can't predict what she'll do...

Light: If you realize that, Misa's actually pretty good!

Misa: Yay! Light said I was good! Squeeeeeeeee!

L: Ow! My ears!

Misa: Squeeeee!

Light: (shouting over the squees) Misa, please stop hurting our ears! Ow!

Misa: (still hasn't stopped) Squeeeeeeeeeee!

Light: She'll have to run out of breath sooner or later. Ow! The pain! Ow!

Misa: inhale

L and Light: Now! (they gag Misa and tie her up)

Light: Chess? I have a new strategy...

L: As do I. Which side?

**Review! Or Misa will squee at you!**


	10. Chapter 10

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or Gmail or any of the characters mentioned in this story. Although I wish I did. However, I **DO **own this story. Please do not copy or reproduce this story without permission from me. If you want permission, leave a review stating so. _

_Okay, just a few more chapters to go 'till the end...there'll probably be about 15._

_Oh, BTW, who thinks I should write a yaoi story or something like that? Leave reviews with either "yes yaoi" or "no yaoi" or "LxMisa" (names chosen at random) or something to that effect. Thanks!_

_L got email!_

Light: Hey, L!

L: Yes?

Light: What's your email address?

L: I don't have one.

Light: (eyes widen) You don't have one?

(E/N: the next section does not have any effect on the story. It's another Limbo Adventure Through Kicking)

L: Is there an echo in here? (thinking: _10 minutes in limbo sounds about right_)

Light: Is there an echo in here? Oof!

(10 minutes later)

Light: Limbo was flashy today. Gave me a headache.

(E/N: Okay, back to the story)

Light: HEY! MATSUDA! MISA! L DOESN'T HAVE EMAIL!

Matsu: gasp!

Misa: gasp! Oooooooo, Light decided to tell me something! He must like me! Squeeeeeee!

Everyone: Misa, no squeeing!

Misa: Sorry...

Light: Now, we have to get L an email. What provider? I'm thinking Gmail.

Matsu: Sounds good!

Misa: I'm going with Light!

L: Um, don't I get a choice?

Light: Of course!

L: , my favorite random website.

Light, Misa, and Matsuda: No.

Light: Gmail sound good?

Misa: Yup!

Matsu: Sure!

Light: Gmail it is. Now...username...hmm...pandapuff

Misa: I'm going with Light!

Matsu: zombieboy? Nah, definitely pandapuff.

Light: pandapuff. L, you choose a password.

L: Ummm...I got it. (ihatelight)

Light: Okay, here goes...

Gmail: You have new mail!

L: Already? Uh oh...

(Nearly 400 messages from fangirls)

Everyone in building: AAAAAAAA! THE SERVER IS FULL!

L: I'm deleting it.

Light: Please.

Matsu: Good idea.

Misa: Definitely.

L: Never again will I try email.

* * *

**Review! Or your email server will crash!**


	11. Chapter 11

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story. Although I wish I did. However, I __**DO **__own this story. Please do not copy or reproduce this story without permission from me. If you want permission, leave a review stating so. _

_Okay, so far the tally is: 1 for "Yes Yaoi" and 1 for "No Yaoi" We shall see..._

_Credit cards are ebil. ( If you don't know ebil, google on zorbak.)_

_w00t! My longest chapter yet!_

* * *

Light: Hey, L.

L: Yes?

Light: Did you take the wallet out of those pants that I was wearing yesterday? The jeans?

L: All of your pants are jeans.

Light: The faded ones.

L: They're all faded.

Light: (holds them up) These?

L: Oh. Yes.

Light: Why?

L: I used your credit card in there to buy a lot of sweets. Don't worry, I'll probably pay you back.

Light: Hmmm. That is a problem.

L: Why?

Light: It wasn't my wallet. I found it on the road and had planned to turn it in to the police today.

L: Why is that a problem?

Light: Well, you had to sign your name when you used the credit card, right?

L: Yeah. So?

Light: If your name didn't match the one on the credit card and neither does mine...

L: (small voice) oh.

Light: And, knowing my dad, the police force should be here in about...now.

Door: Knock, knock, knock

L: **censoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensoredcensored**

Police: Open up!

(Light walks to the door opens it)

Police: Which one of you is Ryuzaki?

Light: Him

L: ((thinking) oh no oh no oh no oh no ) (saying) Me.

Police: Come with us.

L: Wait! My cake! Noooooooooo!

Police: (among themselves) Maybe he can plead insanity.

(One PCD police car drive later)

L: How long did that take? I couldn't see anything.

Random Police Officer: Only a PCD

L: ??

(One trail later)

Judge: You were using a stolen card, albeit unwittingly. Take him to jail for a little while.

(E/N: I don't know if that's a fitting punishment, but it works in my story.)

L: Hey, if I solve one of your cases, will you let me out? I'd like to finish my cake.

Officers: Sure! (Lines up suspects) Which of these killed Jon?

L: Third from the right.

Officers: Was it you?

Suspect # Third From The Right: Yes! It was! And I don't regret it! He practically enslaved my entire family!

Officers: L, you come out. Suspect #TFTR, in you go. Thanks for the help, L!

L: Caaaaaaaaaaake...

Officers: Hmmm...he seemed unstable. We'd better follow him.

(A little while later)

L: Light, where is my cake!?

Light: I ate it.

L: What?!

Light: I. Ate. It.

L: Die! (click)

Officers: Back to the slammer with you!

L: **censored****Review! Or...ummm...Light will eat your cake? I promise that next chapter's threat will be better.**

* * *


	12. Chapter 12

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story. Although I wish I did. However, I **DO **own this story. Please do not copy or reproduce this story without permission from me. If you want permission, leave a review stating so._

_The yaoi story tally is: 2 for yes, 2 for no_

_L's hate of cell phones is legendary!_

Light's phone: (beep boop bip boop beep) ring...ring...ring...click!

Misa: Hello?

Light: Why weren't you at the investigation yesterday? I needed your eyes...

Misa: Sorry Light, I had a job that I just couldn't get rid of!

Light: Oh. Anyways, can you get on the Internet and find a picture of this guy? (whisper whisper)

Misa: Yup! Ummm... here! (whisper whisper)

Light: Thanks! (scribble scribble)

Light: (Reads)

L: Hey, Light!

Light: Yeees?

L: Is that a cell phone?

Light: Yeah, why?

L: Can I see it?

Light: Here you go...

L: (fling!)

Light: Hey! Why'd you do that?

L: I hate cell phones...Oof!

Light: Ha! No more phone flinging for you!

(A while later, at the beach)

L: Hey, Misa!

Misa: Hi!

L: Do you have a cell phone?

Misa: Duh!

L: I'm recording who buys which kind of cell phone. Can I see it?

Misa: Sure! Here you go!

L: (scribbles on pad) (fling!)

Misa: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Light! L flinged my cell phone!

Light: Flung. Not flinged.

Misa: Oh. Really?

Light: Yeah.

Misa: Okay. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Light! L flung my cell phone!

Light: There, there. It's okay.

Light: Hey, L, come over here.

L: Okay.

Light: (kicks)

L: Why you **censored**!

Light: (kicks)

L: Just a moment.

L: (takes out cell phone) Watari?

Watari on phone: Yes? fzzzzzt

L: What the heck?

Light: Here, I can fix it...(evil grin)

L: Thanks!

Light: (fling!)

L: I should've known...

* * *

**Review! Or L will fling your cell phone into the ocean!**


	13. Chapter 13

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters mentioned in this story. Although I wish I did. However, I **DO **own this story. Please do not copy or reproduce this story without permission from me. If you want permission, leave a review stating so._

_Yay! My second longest chapter yet!_

_The yaoi story count is 3 to3. I may never find out._

* * *

L: Ho hum nothing to do

Phone: Ring Ring

L: IS THAT A CELL PHONE? Oh, it's just the hotel room's phone. I shall see who is calling.

L: Hello?

Near: Hi! Is this L?

L: How did you get this number?

Near: Ermm...I certaintly didn't hack into your computer systems. By the way, nice research on Kira there.

L: Just a sec. (covers the phone) HEY TEAM, TRIPLE-STRENGTH OUR FIREWALLS!

L: I'm back. So, why did you call me?

Near: Cause I am superior to you.

L: How do you figure that?

Near: I have more fangirls.

L: No you don't.

Near: I have more than Mello, too.

L: DUH!

L and Near: (snicker)

Near: Oh, hold on a sec. Someone's trying to call me.

L: (to himself) He has friends? Naw, probably a death threat.

(At Near's place)

Mello (on phone): I have more fangirls than you! Admit it, or I'll kill you!

Near: (presses button) Hey L, I'm back.

L: Who was that?

Near: It was Mello.

L: What'd he say?

Near: He said, " have more fangirls than you! Admit it, or I'll kill you!"

L: I knew it! It was a death threat!

Near: What?

L: Never mind. I didn't say anything.

Near: Okay...

L: I know how to settle this.

Near: How?

L: Poll 100 fangirls and see who they like!

Near: OKay!

(100 fangirls later)

L: OKay, here are the results: First, Mello got 33 votes. Wow.

Near: I was thinking more like 3, but okay. It wasn't even a third.

L: You also got 33 votes.

Near: Okay, that means there's...36 left. No! Darn it! You do have the most!

L: No I don't. I got 33.

Near: Wait...There is one fangirls left. What did she say?

L: She likes all of us.

Near: AAAAAAAAAAGH! Now we'll never know!

(Mello walks up)

Mello: Actually, I just polled 100 people as well. They all liked me.

L and Near: They didn't happen to come from your fan club did they?

Mello: Err...Umm...

L: (kicks Mello)

Near: (smothers Mello in toys)

* * *

**Review! Or Near and L will team up on you!**


End file.
